The Job Hunter's Dilemma*

[crysthewolf]

Have you ever noticed that when you're out of work, EVERYONE has advice, job opportunities, and... more advice?  I hadn't realized just how much I'd been part of that horde with my unemployed friends, or how obnoxious it can be, until now.  ;)

It's funny, I don't necessarily want people to stop giving me advice, but I don't think that people realize just how overwhelming ALL of the input can be.  Probably the most obnoxious pieces of advice are the ones with the undertone that "If you were really trying, you'd have a job by now."  I don't think that people realize, even if they've been there, just how debasing losing your job can be.  You're already sitting here telling yourself "It's my fault I'm out of work.  I'm a loser."  And when your friends encourage you to push harder, try harder, call more, send more, apply more... it tends to, instead of encouraging you, make you feel like you're not good enough and you're never going to find a job.

I don't really want people to not continue sending me all the links in their pockets and all the job opportunities they know of.  That's how you find a job, and I've been investigating pretty much all of them (although some of them I look over and go "Nah" because you have to pare that stuff down SOMEHOW so that you can focus on the stuff that actually DOES look good.  And if the stuff that looks good doesn't come through, you always have that "nah" list in your back pocket.)   I just hope that everyone understands that I might not fall all over myself and get uber excited about the opportunity that they send me (or EVERY opportunity that they send me) and pounce on every single piece of advice they have, because I'm getting about as much advice as my potential employers are getting resumes.  You gotta fish through it somehow.

I take solace, though, in remembering that my friends don't think that I'm a loser (or if they do, they're actually rather piss-poor friends and maybe THEY should re-think what they're doing in my circle, but it's still not my concern) and that I WILL eventually get a job, and I'll turn around and thank them for all of their help.  :)

Don't second guess yourself, you're all fantastic.  I think that all of us just need to keep in mind when one of us is out of work, to try not to pounce on them or nag them, but not to be afraid to toss ideas their way, either (as long as we can handle our ideas being rejected.)

Love,
Crystal

Comments

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

It's nice, after having a boss treat you like an idiot for three months and then fire you, to have your friends treat you like you're competent and intelligent enough to stay on top of something like hunting for a job without needing to be coached and kept on every step of the way. :) Actually, to be honest, everyone's been pretty good about the whole thing. I've only felt on the edge of feeling nagged once or twice, and I still got that "but they're just trying to help" feeling even then.

So, *shrug* s'all good. :)

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

*although apparently not competent and intelligent enough to spell "dilemma" correctly on the first try. ;)