The Job Hunter's Dilemma*

[crysthewolf]

Have you ever noticed that when you're out of work, EVERYONE has advice, job opportunities, and... more advice?  I hadn't realized just how much I'd been part of that horde with my unemployed friends, or how obnoxious it can be, until now.  ;)

It's funny, I don't necessarily want people to stop giving me advice, but I don't think that people realize just how overwhelming ALL of the input can be.  Probably the most obnoxious pieces of advice are the ones with the undertone that "If you were really trying, you'd have a job by now."  I don't think that people realize, even if they've been there, just how debasing losing your job can be.  You're already sitting here telling yourself "It's my fault I'm out of work.  I'm a loser."  And when your friends encourage you to push harder, try harder, call more, send more, apply more... it tends to, instead of encouraging you, make you feel like you're not good enough and you're never going to find a job.

I don't really want people to not continue sending me all the links in their pockets and all the job opportunities they know of.  That's how you find a job, and I've been investigating pretty much all of them (although some of them I look over and go "Nah" because you have to pare that stuff down SOMEHOW so that you can focus on the stuff that actually DOES look good.  And if the stuff that looks good doesn't come through, you always have that "nah" list in your back pocket.)   I just hope that everyone understands that I might not fall all over myself and get uber excited about the opportunity that they send me (or EVERY opportunity that they send me) and pounce on every single piece of advice they have, because I'm getting about as much advice as my potential employers are getting resumes.  You gotta fish through it somehow.

I take solace, though, in remembering that my friends don't think that I'm a loser (or if they do, they're actually rather piss-poor friends and maybe THEY should re-think what they're doing in my circle, but it's still not my concern) and that I WILL eventually get a job, and I'll turn around and thank them for all of their help.  :)

Don't second guess yourself, you're all fantastic.  I think that all of us just need to keep in mind when one of us is out of work, to try not to pounce on them or nag them, but not to be afraid to toss ideas their way, either (as long as we can handle our ideas being rejected.)

Love,
Crystal

Comments

[echoweaver.livejournal.com]

I honestly think that job hunting is one of the most emotionally draining things in life. My particular experience is trying to look for a job while I'm already employed in a job that is sucking out my soul. But I think that getting a job you will like takes a lot of emotional energy. And to that end, it's less about trying harder than simply continuing to try at a steady rate and not becoming so overwhelmed that you can't keep working on it.

So, hey, not intended to be advice :). Just encouragement. And, yeah, I know where you're coming from with all the help. I try to look at the motivations behind all the extra advice, which I'm sure you're doing. Being overwhelmed by advice means that a lot of people love you :).

[beldar.livejournal.com]

I'll just cheer you on quietly. =)

I know that if you need one of the leads that Snack cultivated (she even got a couple of job calls after she had accepted the one at the place she's working) you'll ask.

Otherwise, just keep plugging.

[friendstephen.livejournal.com]

I am SURE you will get a job. I am unsure as to when. My certainty comes from the knowledge that there is a kind of job that you are good at (not the only kind) where the management wants to hire you, but where things move slowly.

That, or something better, is going to open up for you. Call it an informed belief.

[defixione.livejournal.com]

It's funny, I don't necessarily want people to stop giving me advice, but I don't think that people realize just how overwhelming ALL of the input can be.

See, that's one reason I mostly kept my mouth shut. I trust that you're smart enough, and have done the jobsearch thang enough to know what to do. Having recently gone through my own job searching and the struggles with that, I know all too well how it goes.

And yes, it is totally overwhelming.

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

It's nice, after having a boss treat you like an idiot for three months and then fire you, to have your friends treat you like you're competent and intelligent enough to stay on top of something like hunting for a job without needing to be coached and kept on every step of the way. :) Actually, to be honest, everyone's been pretty good about the whole thing. I've only felt on the edge of feeling nagged once or twice, and I still got that "but they're just trying to help" feeling even then.

So, *shrug* s'all good. :)

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

(although I still welcome any opportunities anyone comes across.)

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

*although apparently not competent and intelligent enough to spell "dilemma" correctly on the first try. ;)

[smithwick1974.livejournal.com]

the other annoying thing is when their "advice" communicates to you that you don't know your right hand from your left hand. For example: future mother in law told carrie to remind me to wear long sleeve shirts to my interviews. really?! and here I thought blue jeans and a black t-shirt were appropiate for professional interviews *sigh*
I am told that she is pushing me to be better. I don't pushing just responses to my resumes. the lack of responses does not mean a lack of initiative on my part.
I digress.
just saying that I identify with you

[smithwick1974.livejournal.com]

i can't write worth a crap this morning

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

*nod nod* I know how it goes.