THAT'S IT, YOU'RE ALL GROUNDED.

[crysthewolf]

My Mom's been driving me crazy, Dad gets all in a tizzy over Wil because he believes him and Toni when they say act like every disagreement between me and them is my fault and that if I'd just keep my mouth shut everything'd be fine.  I don't understand why so many people in my world seem to get so well that, regardless of whether what they say is MEANT to be hurtful to me, "I'm talking and that's causing her pain, perhaps I should stop talking and stop causing her pain."  Or that when you blame me for other people being mean to me, it sends me into a whirlwind of hurt and darkness that I just don't have control over yet (yes, I will, but it takes time, so back off a minute.) ...and other people, don't have a fucking clue.

Since my family, whether well-meaning or not, don't quite seem to get that, you're all put on notice... you are GROUNDED until after the holidays.  Spend time with each other, have fun in a Crys-free world for a little while, because I need to hole up and be away from you all. 

Brian and Jennifer and the boys are NOT grounded, you are MORE THAN WELCOME TO CONTACT ME TO YOUR HEART'S CONTENT!  (give the boys my cell number if they want it.)  Let me repeat, BRIAN AND JENNIFER AND JAKEB AND JUSTIN, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CONTACT ME ABSOLUTELY ANYTIME, ALWAYS. Cory and Zoey are also NOT grounded, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO CALL ME ABSOLUTELY ANYTIME.

The rest of you are on notice until either the holiday season passes or I feel like I can deal with you again.

Dad, feel free to visit my message board and I'm going to leave it's moderation in Harley's capable hands for the time being.  I'll be back later.  If I don't respond to your emails it's because I'm filtering them to a special folder to check up on later.  If there's an emergency have Brian and Jennifer call me.

Yes, that's right, I'm taking a vacation from all of you.  Sorry, I need a time out.  Sorry it's during the holidays but, y'know, that may very well be better for everyone.

Love,

Crystal

Comments

Re: hope you're proud.

[virginia-fell.livejournal.com]

Well, it occurred to me a while back that women who would never accept certain reasoning from a man they're romantically involved with ("It's not my fault I hurt you, it's yours") will still sometimes accept it from other people.

I don't care what she said to "provoke" him or how angry he was at the time. Everything he said is still his responsibility in the end, and it's not his place to demand that everybody move past it. That's for her to say or no one. Just pissed me off. *wanders off muttering angrily*

Re: hope you're proud.

[per_solo]

*nods* Understandably. And I dug that comment and logic.

Re: hope you're proud.

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

This is very true, and believe me I've dealt with it before.

My first step-father was an abusive asshole. When I became an adult (and thus had control over my own life, to a greater degree anyway), I vowed that I'd never be under the tyranny of another abuser... that I'd never be "stuck" in that kind of relationship again.

It's taken me a long time sometimes to realize that I was IN that kind of relationship (and that there was no fixing it, AND that it wasn't my FAULT), but I've always gotten myself out of them.

The thing that tends to make me crazy is that people don't believe me... I mean other people, who might be involved in that abusers life. But later on, the abuser almost always ends up doing something that makes them realize I was right... he was an abusive asshole and I wasn't being dramatic.

My Dad's being used by Will to try and make Will feel better about himself and look better to his family... and, in the end, to get a few more kicks in at the family punching bag. Apparently (and I have no way of knowing if this is true) Wil was talking about buying me a guitar for Christmas and that was why Dad asked me if I could stand to be in the same room with him. Now Wil's trying to guilt trip me because "I was going to buy you a guitar! I was going to do something NICE for you!" I have no doubt I'd hear the same thing from my Dad.

And that, I believe, is on purpose. Whether he planned to actually do it or not (and he probably did because he can afford to... I love it when people manipulate with their money), he DEFINITELY planned to hold a guitar over my head and use it to say to anyone who might be watching, "See? See how much I love my sister? See how little she appreciates me?" And so if he DOESN'T end up doing it, he'll just hold the INTENT over my head and do the same thing.

And use that to get to Dad, which makes Dad frustrated at me.

Dad once said Will was a genius. He's right. And no one can manipulate a situation like this quite like a genius can.

Re: hope you're proud.

[virginia-fell.livejournal.com]

I think it just takes someone like Will (or like me, honestly) who grew up in an environment where being a manipulative douche is a survival skill. If it's the only way people in your family relate to each other (and it seems like it is), then Will just sort of... learned the language.

Might be why he doesn't seem to think he's done anything wrong. He doesn't think he's being unconscionably manipulative and callous. He probably thinks he's communicating effectively because he's excelling at the only communication he ever had reason to learn.