Learning to love my ass. ;)
Sep. 29th, 2008 11:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crysthewolfI am OVER trying to kill myself to lose weight. I'm also OVER hopping on the scale every day to see if the numbers have gone down.
That said, I really AM working to change my lifestyle and become more healthy. I started belly-dancing again this morning (it's just a workout DVD, but it's fun as hell!) because I saw some gals at Pagan Pride day dancing, some of them my size, and realized, "Oh! I AM allowed to do that and feel good about myself!" It was also because I realized after I walked around at Irish-fest, walked the canal, and then walked around at Pagan Pride Day, that I am NOT in the kind of shape I'd like to be in. When I was younger I walked EVERYWHERE, and now I've gotten to that awful place where if I walk too much I get stiff the next day. I know that a part of that is all the extra weight I HAVE been carrying around thanks to Seasonique convincing my body that it had to eat like it was pregnant... but, now that I'm off of that, I feel like whether the weight actually comes off or not, I DO want to get to the point where I can carry myself around a park all day and not want to die at the end of it. I'd also like to be able to rollerblade the Monon again without being afraid that I might have a heart attack. These are things that I enjoy and WANT to be able to do, not things that I feel like I SHOULD be able to do.
Because, right now, I am OVER feeling shitty because I'm not skinny. Maybe I'll lose weight and maybe I won't, but I'm finally getting to that place where as long as I'm healthy, I'm going to let myself feel beautiful no matter how "big" I may be. Now granted, fitting into some of the clothes that I've still got in my closet would be NICE... but mostly because they're cute and I can't afford to buy them in bigger sizes right now (I bought them when I was actually MAKING money. =P ) Most of the clothes I HAVE been able to buy make me feel frumpy and I'd like to own more than one shirt that I actually feel ATTRACTIVE in. =P
So, here's me... getting comfortable in my own skin. No matter how thick it is.
Some of the rest of you going to jump on my bandwagon with me? =) It's a party. And there's CHOCOLATE. ;)
That said, I really AM working to change my lifestyle and become more healthy. I started belly-dancing again this morning (it's just a workout DVD, but it's fun as hell!) because I saw some gals at Pagan Pride day dancing, some of them my size, and realized, "Oh! I AM allowed to do that and feel good about myself!" It was also because I realized after I walked around at Irish-fest, walked the canal, and then walked around at Pagan Pride Day, that I am NOT in the kind of shape I'd like to be in. When I was younger I walked EVERYWHERE, and now I've gotten to that awful place where if I walk too much I get stiff the next day. I know that a part of that is all the extra weight I HAVE been carrying around thanks to Seasonique convincing my body that it had to eat like it was pregnant... but, now that I'm off of that, I feel like whether the weight actually comes off or not, I DO want to get to the point where I can carry myself around a park all day and not want to die at the end of it. I'd also like to be able to rollerblade the Monon again without being afraid that I might have a heart attack. These are things that I enjoy and WANT to be able to do, not things that I feel like I SHOULD be able to do.
Because, right now, I am OVER feeling shitty because I'm not skinny. Maybe I'll lose weight and maybe I won't, but I'm finally getting to that place where as long as I'm healthy, I'm going to let myself feel beautiful no matter how "big" I may be. Now granted, fitting into some of the clothes that I've still got in my closet would be NICE... but mostly because they're cute and I can't afford to buy them in bigger sizes right now (I bought them when I was actually MAKING money. =P ) Most of the clothes I HAVE been able to buy make me feel frumpy and I'd like to own more than one shirt that I actually feel ATTRACTIVE in. =P
So, here's me... getting comfortable in my own skin. No matter how thick it is.
Some of the rest of you going to jump on my bandwagon with me? =) It's a party. And there's CHOCOLATE. ;)
Loving, loved, and lovely,
Crystal
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Oo, chocolate....
Date: 2008-09-29 04:04 pm (UTC)Anyway! Belly dance group? Could be fun! (And who knows--if we get good enough, maybe WE could perform at PPD some year ^_^)
Re: Oo, chocolate....
Date: 2008-09-29 05:08 pm (UTC)And goodness no, I wouldn't mind Liz coming at all. Like I said in a response to one of virginia_fell's posts, I think that belly-dance is an art that shows the beauty of the female form, no matter what shape that form happens to take. The way to help someone feel better about themselves is not to hide YOUR attributes, but to encourage them NOT to hide THEIRS.
Besides, she'd be kindof in the minority, wouldn't she? Are you sure SHE wouldn't feel self-conscious?
Re: Oo, chocolate....
Date: 2008-09-29 06:36 pm (UTC)She doesn't exactly have "formal" training, per se, but I know she has at least one belly dance DVD. I shall have to talk with her sometime and see what she thinks about forming a group.
I think it would be cool ^_^ Not sure if I have time for it this semester 'cause I'm already WAY too busy with lots of other things, but that certainly doesn't mean you guys can't start without me. I'll join in when I can : )
Re: Oo, chocolate....
Date: 2008-09-29 06:49 pm (UTC)Re: Oo, chocolate....
Date: 2008-09-29 07:07 pm (UTC)