Learning to love my ass. ;)
Sep. 29th, 2008 11:32 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
crysthewolfI am OVER trying to kill myself to lose weight. I'm also OVER hopping on the scale every day to see if the numbers have gone down.
That said, I really AM working to change my lifestyle and become more healthy. I started belly-dancing again this morning (it's just a workout DVD, but it's fun as hell!) because I saw some gals at Pagan Pride day dancing, some of them my size, and realized, "Oh! I AM allowed to do that and feel good about myself!" It was also because I realized after I walked around at Irish-fest, walked the canal, and then walked around at Pagan Pride Day, that I am NOT in the kind of shape I'd like to be in. When I was younger I walked EVERYWHERE, and now I've gotten to that awful place where if I walk too much I get stiff the next day. I know that a part of that is all the extra weight I HAVE been carrying around thanks to Seasonique convincing my body that it had to eat like it was pregnant... but, now that I'm off of that, I feel like whether the weight actually comes off or not, I DO want to get to the point where I can carry myself around a park all day and not want to die at the end of it. I'd also like to be able to rollerblade the Monon again without being afraid that I might have a heart attack. These are things that I enjoy and WANT to be able to do, not things that I feel like I SHOULD be able to do.
Because, right now, I am OVER feeling shitty because I'm not skinny. Maybe I'll lose weight and maybe I won't, but I'm finally getting to that place where as long as I'm healthy, I'm going to let myself feel beautiful no matter how "big" I may be. Now granted, fitting into some of the clothes that I've still got in my closet would be NICE... but mostly because they're cute and I can't afford to buy them in bigger sizes right now (I bought them when I was actually MAKING money. =P ) Most of the clothes I HAVE been able to buy make me feel frumpy and I'd like to own more than one shirt that I actually feel ATTRACTIVE in. =P
So, here's me... getting comfortable in my own skin. No matter how thick it is.
Some of the rest of you going to jump on my bandwagon with me? =) It's a party. And there's CHOCOLATE. ;)
That said, I really AM working to change my lifestyle and become more healthy. I started belly-dancing again this morning (it's just a workout DVD, but it's fun as hell!) because I saw some gals at Pagan Pride day dancing, some of them my size, and realized, "Oh! I AM allowed to do that and feel good about myself!" It was also because I realized after I walked around at Irish-fest, walked the canal, and then walked around at Pagan Pride Day, that I am NOT in the kind of shape I'd like to be in. When I was younger I walked EVERYWHERE, and now I've gotten to that awful place where if I walk too much I get stiff the next day. I know that a part of that is all the extra weight I HAVE been carrying around thanks to Seasonique convincing my body that it had to eat like it was pregnant... but, now that I'm off of that, I feel like whether the weight actually comes off or not, I DO want to get to the point where I can carry myself around a park all day and not want to die at the end of it. I'd also like to be able to rollerblade the Monon again without being afraid that I might have a heart attack. These are things that I enjoy and WANT to be able to do, not things that I feel like I SHOULD be able to do.
Because, right now, I am OVER feeling shitty because I'm not skinny. Maybe I'll lose weight and maybe I won't, but I'm finally getting to that place where as long as I'm healthy, I'm going to let myself feel beautiful no matter how "big" I may be. Now granted, fitting into some of the clothes that I've still got in my closet would be NICE... but mostly because they're cute and I can't afford to buy them in bigger sizes right now (I bought them when I was actually MAKING money. =P ) Most of the clothes I HAVE been able to buy make me feel frumpy and I'd like to own more than one shirt that I actually feel ATTRACTIVE in. =P
So, here's me... getting comfortable in my own skin. No matter how thick it is.
Some of the rest of you going to jump on my bandwagon with me? =) It's a party. And there's CHOCOLATE. ;)
Loving, loved, and lovely,
Crystal
