PSA

[crysthewolf]

Or it may be a CSA (Crystal Service Announcement), 'cause I'm really the one who's affected most by this.

So my PSA is this.  There are some people, who's personalities are just predisposed to completely ignore nagging.  There's something about us that makes it so that the level of motivation we have to do a thing sinks in direct proportion to the level of pestering we get from other people.  I don't know WHY this happens, I simply know that it DOES. 

In case you haven't gathered, I'm one of those people.  And if you haven't noticed, I actually have this funny habit of making GOOD decisions for my own life.  When left to my own devices, I DON'T tend to sit on my ass and do nothing, I DO take responsibility for myself and my life.  I would like to go somewhere.  That road moves one step at a time.  So, even if you don't visibly SEE everything I do, even if I don't TALK to you about it, I'm still moving forward.  Always.

So, no matter what you might think, you don't need to keep after me about things.

But it's more than that.  When you DO keep after me about things, I stop wanting to do them.

It's something that I'm working on, but in the meantime, I have a lot of REALLY wonderful friends who REALLY want me to succeed and are REALLY trying to help.  And a lot of them are trying to keep me motivated by keeping after me to get things done that they think I need to get done, and that's GREAT.

Now, please stop.

I don't mean to be a jerk, you're all very wonderful and I appreciate your concern.  I REALLY do!  I'm not just saying that!  It's NICE to be cared about, and I haven't felt that in a long time.  But, please, send me an exercise video, forward me a job opportunity, post recipes from your diet, and every GREAT once in a while, ask me what I've done to accomplish my goals.  Because yes, every once in a while, I need a reminder.

But please, if you really REALLY wanna help, don't pester me.  I'm not saying that because I'm sick of hearing it... I'm actually NOT sick of hearing it.  It's NOT annoying.  It's very SWEET and I thank you ALL.  BUT, unfortunately, it's also anti-motivating, and right now I need as much motivation as I can possibly get.  So, I know it's a little counterintuitive, but please don't keep bugging me about things you think I should do.  Once is enough, and once in a while is fine, but if you do it too much, I'm afraid that I'll end up sticking my heels in the ground and doing nothing, and I don't want that. 

Now, if you come up with an idea for something you think that I need to do and I disagree with it and don't do it, you'd be better off to leave it alone.  Because after eight years of handing my life and my decisions over to someone else constantly, I'm pretty damned adamant about making my own. ;)

And, believe it or not, I'm pretty damned good at it, too. 

Love,
Crystal

Edit:  I wanted to add that if there's a project or something I've said I would help you with or money that I owe you, this blog doesn't apply to that. ;)  I fully expect to be  nagged over things I owe or things I commit to.  'Cause if I slack off on that, it's your business to make a fuss about it, because you're the one affected by it.  Y'know?

Comments

[anjala.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I just love the offers of free advice when I am not asking for it. People who say, go to a fast food establishment and get a job. These assholes have no idea what they are talking about.

And, on a positive note, I had an interview and testing with the Dunhill Staffing. Here is a link to their website (NE Indy office): http://www.dunhillstaff.com/office.cfm?office_ID=78. I hope they can help you, too.

(((hugs)))

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

Ooo thanks!

And yeah, the thing is that if worse came to worst I WOULD go to a fast food joint and find a job, but the problem with doing something like that is that you're likely to make less there than you would by drawing unemployment, and you'd have less time to look for another job, so what's the point?

I haven't gotten any suggestions like that tho. Thankfully. ;) I think people really DO mean well, they (and sometimes we) just need to understand to back off when it's counter-productive. That's why this was a difficult blog to write, because everyone who's been on me about doing different things really DO have their hearts in the right place, it's just that it's starting to get to the point where I know I'm about to dig my heels in because I'm hearing too much. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting there quickly.

[mobobocita.livejournal.com]

OH! Not nagging, but I meant to tell you about a fun book for you!

Forgive the name, it's actually more like, Careers you never thought to have....It breaks it down by education level needed and stuff and actually has well you want to be X? Well Y is just like that but requires way less blah blah blah.

http://www.amazon.com/Cool-Careers-Dummies-Marty-Nemko/dp/0764553453

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

Oo, that's not nagging, that's gold! Have you read it? I've seen it around bookstores but it always looked like stuff for weirdo extremists. Does it have normal careers in it too?

I might have to grab that one as soon as I have some cash flow.

[per_solo]

Or I can bring up a copy to you. :-)

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

Ooooor that. =D

[per_solo]

*nods* It was one that was recommended to me when hunting, and wasn't too shabby, as I recall.

Again, the whole "boot to go to school" theory. :-)

[mobobocita.livejournal.com]

Yes Normal Careers are in there too.

Chris has a copy, use his. :P

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

*nod nod*

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

btw, the peroxide is helping my ear. And also weeee bubbles!

[mobobocita.livejournal.com]

And no matter what you do, it's always COLD! And tickles! *grin* glad it's helping.

[ardent-firesong.livejournal.com]

RE: the edit

Peectures? *sad face*

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

Yes! When are you availble? I'm getting over a cold now but I could probably do sometime next week. Whatcha think? Wednesday maybe or Thursday?

If you wanna email me, it's crysthewolf at gmail dot com.

[cori-chronicles.livejournal.com]

I hope I'm not a nagger! I don't think I am, but just in case... :)

If people pester me, I want to run away. I don't like it, and it has nothing to do with people's intentions. Maybe I have that oppositional disorder or something. I hate people telling me what to do.

However, I love advice. And if asked, I'll give it. But that doesn't mean I'll take it, or that the person I've given it to has to either. Some people you are so close to that if they don't take it you wanna shake em! But, generally, no. ;)

[crysthewolf.livejournal.com]

Well you've never nagged me, if that helps. ;) And yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. There's just something in me that shuts down when people tell me what to do. And I love advice too, but I don't always take it and I DEFINITELY don't always expect it to be taken when I give it. In fact I warn people, "This is just my opinion, and you were the person given the reigns on your life, so you need to do what YOU think is best." I've had too many situations where someone's given ME advice, and I did what THEY thought I should do instead of doing what I thought I should do... and it ended up I was right and they were wrong and if I'd have just done what I thought was best I would have been fine.