It's Not Too Late!

If you liked my LJ Idol entry My Long Goodbye, Please go vote for it here!!!  You don't have to be a member of the community to vote.  

You've got 'till 1pm EST today, so be quick about it!! ;)  teehee.

Love,
Crystal

Learning to love my ass. ;)

I am OVER trying to kill myself to lose weight.  I'm also OVER hopping on the scale every day to see if the numbers have gone down.

That said, I really AM working to change my lifestyle and become more healthy.  I started belly-dancing again this morning (it's just a workout DVD, but it's fun as hell!) because I saw some gals at Pagan Pride day dancing, some of them my size, and realized, "Oh! I AM allowed to do that and feel good about myself!"  It was also because I realized after I walked around at Irish-fest, walked the canal, and then walked around at Pagan Pride Day, that I am NOT in the kind of shape I'd like to be in.  When I was younger I walked EVERYWHERE, and now I've gotten to that awful place where if I walk too much I get stiff the next day.  I know that a part of that is all the extra weight I HAVE been carrying around thanks to Seasonique convincing my body that it had to eat like it was pregnant... but, now that I'm off of that, I feel like whether the weight actually comes off or not, I DO want to get to the point where I can carry myself around a park all day and not want to die at the end of it.  I'd also like to be able to rollerblade the Monon again without being afraid that I might have a heart attack.  These are things that I enjoy and WANT to be able to do, not things that I feel like I SHOULD be able to do.  

Because, right now, I am OVER feeling shitty because I'm not skinny.  Maybe I'll lose weight and maybe I won't, but I'm finally getting to that place where as long as I'm healthy, I'm going to let myself feel beautiful no matter how "big" I may be.  Now granted, fitting into some of the clothes that I've still got in my closet would be NICE... but mostly because they're cute and I can't afford to buy them in bigger sizes right now (I bought them when I was actually MAKING money. =P )  Most of the clothes I HAVE been able to buy make me feel frumpy and I'd like to own more than one shirt that I actually feel ATTRACTIVE in.  =P 

So, here's me... getting comfortable in my own skin.  No matter how thick it is.

Some of the rest of you going to jump on my bandwagon with me? =)  It's a party.  And there's CHOCOLATE. ;)

Loving, loved, and lovely,
Crystal